Thursday, January 13, 2011

Almost Dead


This blog was in a coma for the past 2 years.....Actually I just couldn't be fuck to write down what are my thoughts anymore because they usually come and go so quickly. I guess on the other hand I have a memory span of that Dory Fish in Nemo as well since I can only last a few mins in thoughts and its gone. I always tell myself I'm exhausted from work and over working and this and that but FUCK THAT...... YES I AM SHORT FUSE so WHAT......... This year new year resolution.....STOP GIVING MYSELF A FUCKING EXCUSE.............yes.......I know again I do need a slap on my face sometimes and you bitches would most gladly do that for me.........

Almost been away from home now for 5 years...........damn thats long.......but I guess I'm not looking back now since I've came a long way by myself. Yes its hard and Yes its lonely....but hey you lost some you gain some.

Hope this year is gonna be better because I guess I do work a lot lesser and have a bit more to spend now compare to where I have first started and I would add that to my small little accomplished file........

As I walk further down the road of adulthood....the more I realize how shitty life or things or people can be around you. It was always rainbows and butterflies when your young and all we care about for tomorrow is that we can actually make more new friends or past our freaking test...... but now test or no test....its test day everyday.....task to test our EQ.....task to test our IQ and there are even task to test our ability to lie through things and see how smooth or far can we go being unnoticed......when I was younger I felt that this is totally unacceptable but as time goes by and when you need to stand tall in this society...... or when you need to smooth things out and get yourself things you wanted or out of situation.....this lying thing that I hated so much has become a skill that is much needed......... Not to say I love lying or lying is something that I do everyday............but telling half truth or altogether pretending to be ignorant will sometimes get you out of shit and even get you things you wanted..........ass kissing or some say ass wiping will be necessary as well .... well lets just add that to the pot as well.....what other ingredients have we attain down the road as well!!!??!?!?

So at the end of the day my dear bitches....did we become more wiser or from my own point of view that we become more cynical and scarier as we grow up..........because I believe we are capable of doing things that we find unacceptable when we are younger but we can actually do it now with grace!??!?!?! What happen?!?!?!?!? Did age turn as into monster or did we do it to ourselves deliberately!??!?! OR can we blame society again?!??!?!?


Posted by Cowcanfly at Thursday, January 13, 2011

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Beautiful Mind

Lately, I heard about alot of suicide going on in Korea especially in the entertainment sector....Means alot of actor and actresses are committing suicide. Sometimes I really wonder what goes through their mind right before they have their last breath. I mean ofcouse they must have undergo a servere depression or something seriously mind bothering for a long time and then finally decided that it is not worth living anymore.
What comes into my head was that.....people aren't as strong will or strong minded like they use to be anymore. Maybe because everything we have now a days comes easily and that is why we can't take in much down fall as compared to our ancestors. Yes ofcouse we can't compare the condition but think about it......we have everything ready on a platter for us when we are born. We don't need to worry about food, we don't need to worry about money and certainly we don't need to worry about the weather or neither do we give two cents about what is going on around us. I guess this is how things went wrong.
In the olden days, people have to work hard for what they want. Parents always have dinner with their children at the end of each day and mother still tuck their children to bed and ofcouse not to mention baking cookings and reading them story books. But now, parents are just too tired or busy after a day's work and decided to hire nannies or worse still just hand over money to their kids and thinks that it is alright as long as they have what they need.
But little do they know that they are actually living in their own little world that kids can also be settle with money. To me most of our morals or personalities and behavior were shape during childhood and what make us "us". But ofcouse we change while we grow up but some of the fundemental things that we know we learn from our parents.
I guess that can happen as well when now a days the kids knows only about computer games and portable games console that they don't play together in the playgroud anymore or nor do they go out and play in another friend's house anymore. In another way, when they grow up, the possibility of them being a socially handicape is not suprise.
That links back to where I first started that when someone is in depression and they do not have many friends or their family member to suport them, they turn the wrong way. Or maybe because they do not know how to express themselves much cause they are not use to doing that as well. Either way, it felt like the world is turning into a cold concrete place where no one cares about each other but only indulge themselves in their own world.
I know its a weird post....but this thing was in my mind for sometime now and I finally have the bloody time to jot it down....

Posted by Cowcanfly at Saturday, April 25, 2009

Sunday, March 29, 2009


Yes.......its officially been almost 5 months now....
Thanks for all the concerns but we are still going strong...
Ofcouse we did have our ups and downs but at the moment I just enjoy the time spend talking with him on the phone.
After he left, till sometime later only I found out little things about him and what he have done for me that makes me felt warm inside. Just like my last convo, I was stupid enough not to realise he actually bought me the flowers until yesterday when I was in a conversation with my housemates. Nic was complaning about her boy not buying flower for her but for another girl instead on that girl's convo. Then I started saying that "Its ok, Shaun never bought me flowers anyway". Right after I finished saying that, both Nic and Alex turn their head and stared at me like I have just killed my own mom........ "What!?!? Who say Shaun didn't get you any!??!??!?! Did you know he called me that night to ask me get the nicest bunch of flower in the shop????? SO means out of all the flowers you got....his was the most expensive and big one.....How can you NOT KNOW?!?!??!".....Yes...both Nic and ALex almost chewed my head off....but at that moment....I just can't help but smile....
Sometimes I guess he doesn't show but he does love me in his own way afterall. But ofcouse there are times where I felt neglected and alone when he didnt pick up my calls or answer my message. That is the time where so many negative advise comes in. I guess it is true that why bother when he is so far away and we don't get to see each other at all ? Just forget about it is what I always heard......But strange could you let go of a relationship when there is absolutely nothing wrong with it and when you haven't even try working things out together? I don't believe things come easily but I do believe having determination and faith goes a long way. I am trying my best to build my relationship so next time when I look back I won't regret and always have that "what if" thing going through my mind....Therefore thanks for all the concern and advise but sometimes all I need is just some encouragement to tell me this is just a small bump on the road. And for those who have been patience enough to hear my rantings....Thank you and you are a truely good friend indeed.


Posted by Cowcanfly at Sunday, March 29, 2009

Thursday, January 08, 2009

New Year New Life

Yes....recently I have been to LaLa Land again....sry for the lack of posting my dear bitches...
N yes I have a boyfriend now...thanks for the laughing and concern...all of them have been receive and accepted....yes it felt unreal when too many good things happen at the same will just think that it is a joke or your in a dream. But thank god that after slaping myself several times....I felt the pain and my face was is not a dream afterall.... Guess you fucks will be damn curious who that feller worries mates... he is coming with me back to KL this coming New Year ..... but please.... control yourself and not scare him away....afterall...he might be the one and only guy that is blind enough to fall for me...mauhahahahha..... On top of that I GRADUATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YESSSS....I know its about time.....but still I can't help but smile everytime when I know that I don't have to study anymore.
A new year so I should have some new resolution as well....Mine is dead simple and I only have two...but these two will play a big part and if I can fulfill just these two it will make me a DAMN Happy women *yes I have to use women liow...afterall I am 23 this yr dammit*
1. Pay and clear all my debts.....
2. Loose 10kg within a year.....

Yes....sounds simple? It is in a way but no when you have heaps of things going on and heaps of other bills and stuff to pay....time seems to always run out for me.....I wish sometimes I can do more....and one sad thing is that Shaun*yes thats my bf name in case you didn't know already* is going back to Korea for good this coming feb and I won't be seeing him for a long long time....but I plan to go to Korea this coming Dec to have a holiday and visit him as finger cross that everything works out nicely that I will be able to see him on Dec.....
My last willful wish is that I hope all of you will approve of him =)
Afterall you guys are my bitches for years and ages and it means alot if you guys like him too....anywayz...can't wait to see you all soon!


Posted by Cowcanfly at Thursday, January 08, 2009

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Lagging period

Right.....yes been ages since I last wrote anything....
These are one of those period where you are stuck in between for waiting your results and get all worried and shit.....but fear not! I have been partying and playing hard recently....thanks to my friends....hohohohohho....Last tuesday was my last paper.....but its abit hardcore since I have to sit 2 papers in one day.....
Ever since then? I have been almost drinking non stop everyday....I think my liver is gonna fail me soon....whiskey, abstin, wine, beer bourbon.....gosh you name it........
Been to a couple of places as well to chill out and have yea been happy and doing fine....till my results come are a few photos just to make things more interesting.


Posted by Cowcanfly at Thursday, November 27, 2008

Friday, October 31, 2008


I am blessed with a good pair of hands,
I am blessed with a logical brain,
I am blessed with friends that never desert me during my most difficult times,
I am blessed with housemates who can take up all my non-sense and shit,
I am blessed with a family who cherish each other,
I am blessed with nice people around me who are willing to help me when I needed,
I am blessed with an opportunity to work when I most need it,
I am blessed with a nice, big cosy room,
I know I am blessed when I can give and help others who have less than me,
Most of all I am blessed to be able to born with all four limbs and a healthy brain.

Yes....You guys must have thought what maggots is eating her brain? Did she just join a new religion !?!??!?!? LOL....the answer is no mate!
Something suddenly just hit me again how fortunate I am even though I have a lot of difficult times. Because people around have helped me and I have always been able to get help when I most needed it. I guess I have to say I am one lucky person in terms of stuff like these and I am not taking all these for granted because I remember every single good things be it big or small my family, friends and people who had done for me.....
Thank you all,

Sincerely with love,

Posted by Cowcanfly at Friday, October 31, 2008

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Life's little instructions

Its a sunday morning....another morning where I have to wake up at 5 freaking am to come to work...when everyone is still in their lala land......
Not a bad one today...considering that I am working alone.....its been cruzy....believe it or not...I am actually using the office laptop to come online....muahhahahahahaha......While cool!???!?
I found this little note sticking on the staff notice board and I must say it is one brilliant little notes that gives life inspiration to my little dull life....

P/S: Do read the whole thing when you have the time my dear bitches....although it is rather long...

1)Sing in the shower
2)Treat everyone yo meet like you want to be treated
3)Watch a sunrise at least once a year
4)Leave the toilet in the down position
5)Never refuse home made brownies
6)Strive for excellence not perfection
7)Plant a tree on your birthday
8)Learn three clean jokes
9)Return borrowed vehicles with the gas tank full
10)Compliment three people every day
11)Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them
12)Leave everything a little better than you found them
13)Keep it simple
14)Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures
15)Become that most positive and enthusiastic person you know
16)Floss your teeth
17)Ask for a raise when you feel you've earned it
18)Be forgiving of yourself and others
19)Over tip breakfast waitresses
20)Say "thank you" a lot
21)Say "please" a lot
22)Avoid negative people
23)Buy whatever kids are selling on a card tables i their front yards
24)Wear polished shoes
25)Remember other peoples birthday
26)Commit yourself to constant improvement
27)Carry jumper leads in the trunk of your car
28)Have a firm handshake
29)Send lots of Valentine's card
30)Sign them "Someone who thinks your terrific"
31)Look people in the eye
32)Be the first to say hello
33)Use the good silver
34)Return all things you borrow
35)Make new friends but cherish the old ones
36)Keep secrets
37)Sing in a choir
38)Plant flower every spring
39)Have a dog
40)Always except an outstretched hand
41)Stop blaming others
42)Take responsibility for every area of your life
43)Wave at kids on school buses
44)Be there when people need you
45)Feed a strangers expire parking meter
46)Don't expect life to be fair
47)Never underestimate the power of love
48)Drink champagne for no reason at all
49)Live your life as an exclamation not an explanation
50)Don't be afraid to say "I made a mistake"
51)Compliment even small improvements
52)Keep your promises no matter what
53)Marry only for love
54)Rekindle old friendships
55)Count your blessings
56)Call your mother

Posted by Cowcanfly at Sunday, September 28, 2008